it's October!

Hi! 

I know that one of my last post was titled "August part I",There should be an "August part II" but then suddenly it's October already! Even September has already passed! 

One of the reasons I haven't updated much is because there was nothing much to be shared. I didn't want this blog to be a sappy blog where I pour all of my sometimes depressing thoughts, I want to share more about the normal and somewhat happy side of me. And the last month hasn't exactly been that 'happy' 

I'd be lying if I told you I haven't been thrilled. The truth is all of these moving to Bandung and being a Maba again has been a strange experience. It was much much harder than I thought, meeting new kind of people that didn't exist in my encyclopedia before, having to go through a new routine and making huge effort to befriend with new people again. And one of the worst thing is I can't complain because this is what I had wanted all along and this is my choice; to let go what I had and starting fresh. So, weeks ago I had it hard, I wasn't that happy with everything. 

But you should know I have no regrets, not even a little, not even the slightest. This is just a phase I have to go through to achieve my dream, it's all natural and everyone goes through this phase in their life. And I surely do love ITB and Bandung! So I guess it will all be okay, it's just a matter of time right?  I mean the fact that I updated this blog shows that I'm much happier now. And I really am happy, even thinking about being here itself already makes me giddy.

By the way, I found this place in Bandung not that far from my kostan. It's called "Reading Lights". It's an English bookstore which also sell the used books. It also has a cafe in it. It's not that big and it's not fancy. It only has several tables but I find this place pretty comfortable. Probably because it is not that crowded. Even though all the tables are occupied, it's quiet in here. And the WiFi is very fast! it's really nice. I wouldn't say the coffee is that good, but it's good enough to make you wanting to come again. It's the first time I come here and I've been staying here for more than two hours. Many other costumers have come before me and still stay in their position. This is a very comfortable place to spend your time, I just wish they had more sofas and menus.

Anyway it's October already! Many dear people I know will be celebrating their birthday this month! But too bad it seems like I wouldn't be there to celebrate because somehow ITB has decided to use all the Saturdays for UTS! yes, it's UTS tomorrow! Wish me luck! :')

Even with all the UTS I'm still looking forward for October, May this month be a great month for us! :-)

August: Part I

Hello! 

I know I haven't updated this blog for a quite long time, so many things have happened I don't even know where to start telling you. Oh by the way some friends of mine addressed my last post "leaf", they asked me why and showed their concern. I don't even know that there are people who actuallly read this blog, however I'm really grateful for those people, thank you for caring. It's okay, It was just one of my ups and downs. 

Okay, let's get started here......
What's been happening in my life?

You all know how much I want to study in SAPPK ITB right? Well, you also know how I failed miserably last year, And some of you probably know how I felt like I don't belong in mathematics. But do you know that this year I got accepted in SAPPK ITB?!

I can't stop saying Alhamdulilah and thanking Allah SWT. My dream really came true, maybe God just wanted me to wait, I'm sure there must be a reason behind everything. Thank you, thank you!

Thank you for all of my friends who never stopped supporting and believing in me, I really appreciate all of your "it's okay", "good luck", "you can do it!" "I believe in you". Thank you for my family who's been very supportive and loving. Thank you for everything everyone~!

I gotta admit that it's so funny, it seems like God has planned all of this for me. Remember weeks ago when I was really down, unmotivated, and blue? Well it took time, but I somehow managed to get my self out of the mess, and then I said to my self "it's okay, everything is really okay, it's time to let go. You're gonna be good, just go on, maybe this is where you belong, it's okay"  Seriously that was the time when I stopped worrying too much about everything and just let everything go, let everything flow. And suddenly BAM, God gives me something I've wanted for years, it's like a belated birthday gift. 

I earn so much lessons, First of all is to never give up no matter how impossible it seems, second is not to worry too much, and third is to believe that God always has a bigger plan for you.

Between the glee and all the euphoric feelings,

I'm very, very, very sad.
I have met so many great people in last year, and God knows how amazing my best friends are. I'm so lucky to ever got a chance to know them. Dit,Va,Ken,Nan,Mar,Tang,Zan..., take care there, and please try not to forget me :')  . Thank you for always being there, thank you for never stopped lending a helping hand, thank you for keep listening no matter how random my conversation is, thank you for accompanying me whenever I suddenly craved for some random foods. Thank you for being there!

I know that this is just a start of something so much bigger, I know that the journey won't be as easy as what I expected. I know that the road can be bumpy, and the mountain is very high, I'll try to do my best and make up for what I didn't get to do last year. 

beginning of april

Hello
Miss me much?

Yes, I had been very busy and didn't have time to update this blog. So you've probably been wondering what was happening to me, and my last post couldn't possibly help either.

These last two weeks I had the midterm test, and yes it's still going on, the last one is Chemistry and it's tomorrow, yay!
The beginning of April was a chaos! I'm kidding,-not really, it's just the mid term tests started on the 1st of April and I can't help but loathing it. Honestly I might have never felt that bad about my self, I don't know I just felt like I had done everything I could, I had put so damn much effort and yet it still wasn't enough, not even close. And it made me mad, it made me really angry to my self. So, yeah the beginning of april wasn't good. 

Enough about midtermtest, right now I'm having a quality time with self.
I just had a relaxing warm shower, alone in a bedroom where I can directly see the Jakarta's skyline while blogging and watching E!channel like there's no tomorrow. I guess it's just really easy to make me happy, as easy as making me sad.

By the way, how are you? how's life?
With everything that's going around in this world, it really is a blessing to be able to say "I'm good", everywhere you turn you see people saying negative things and being ignorant. Whether it's traffic jam or the overly heated weather there's always a reason to not feel good. So, if you're one of those who is able to say "I'm good" confidently, I'd like to say congratulation! finally I find someone who stays positive!

Okay, this post is going nowhere and now I'm rambling with no direction, pardon me

See you!

One Week Left!

Hello!
I really wish that I could tell you fun stories about my holiday but well I had been a fool and literally spent the holiday sleeping, watching kdramas, and --I don't even remember. The point is, I have wasted my holiday doing nothing and now I'm practically complaining that holiday is not long enough for me to do all of my holiday resolutions. Boo! I'm so uber uncool.
My motto has always been "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted" and it still is, but I feel like I may haven't really enjoyed those times I wasted.  All I did was "waking up in the afternoon- *blur**blur* -suddenly it was night -spending time with my laptop till dawn" I belive that it's the main point of having holiday, to act stupid and enjoy life as if you have all the time in your hand, but maybe, maybe I had been overdoing it.

Well! On the bright side, I realized my stupidity before the whole holiday is over and now I still have a week to be enjoying holiday, not wasting it.
I'm already planning on what to do for the rest of the week. can't wait.

I'll keep you updated!


and by the way, I, at least, got to hang out with Indan this holiday!

"Kenapa lu namain?"

Okay, it's just some random conversation which happened in one of those endless nights when my friends chose to stay at my place. And yes, they stay in my place a lot.

It was getting late, and we were preparing to sleep
Lintang : Eh liat boneka Smile ga?
Gua      : Hah Smile?... Elmo?
Lintang : Iya yang itu..
Gua      : oh disitu, .......Kok lo namain boneka gua sih? gua aja ga pernah..!

*krik*......

2 0 1 2 MEGA POST

This post is dedicated to the unforgettable 2012 

2012

The year where I had dreamed, strived, tried, believed, and fallen

The year where I had grieved and cried like never before

The year I learnt, sometimes God has better plan

The year I got to say Good Bye to School life, and say Hello to University Life

The year I learnt to let go of past

The year where I met hundreds of new people

The year I left my home

The year which decided the future

The year that changed me forever

2012.

The first part of this year I was Nadya Rizki, the 12th grade student of SMAN 8 Tangerang. The girl who was madly obsessed with ITB, which stickers filled the cover of her notebook. My life revolved around studying and itb. Ah life was easy.  I went to school at 6.30, went home at 3, sometime there were courses and then I'd spend the night home. And then I was chosen to be a part of the BTS comitee, it was complicated and not exactly fun but I didn't regret being a part of it. Then UN came, we all went our seperate ways, but since most of us went to the same tutoring courses, we still met each other everyday.

This year, my home got renovated.  After hundreds of times discussing to move to a more developed city, we finally decided to just renovate our home. It got bigger, and yes my room got wider. And I've told you before, you must have seen the picture too, I drew a world map.  one of my favorite part about this room.

And then SNMPTN, one of the biggest day in my life,  I had been really sure I'd get in. Honestly it still hurts to remember about it. As I said, this year I had fallen, I had grieved, I had cried like never before. My friend once told me that 'failing' doesn't exist in my dictionary. Well, it does now.
I was caught, traumatized. Not sure whether I should start dreaming again or not.
-----
At the begining of this year, I was a girl full of dream, passion and glee.
-----

I didn't get ITB (obviously), but I got accepted in UNPAD and UI. There was a war inside my head, UNPAD is in Bandung, and you know how much I love that city. But, I chose UI (as you know it) and here it began, my life as a university student..

So, I moved out and I've been living in Depok. There are so many changes in my life right now. So many new faces, new people with new characters. I need to adapt, fast. You know that I'm not good with strangers, I'm still trying to improve my self in that part. So many new friends too. To sum it up, I feel like I had just moved to a new home. I got a new family too. In this family, I'm still trying to see which part of this family I'd fit in. I also meet these great people I call bestfriends. Honestly I don't know what would I be without them.

College life! I guess I shouldn't whine, no matter how hard it is being in Mathematics. The way I see it, it's really different from high school. In High School, there were still some people whose grade were always below yours. But now, it's just so unexpected. Everyone is madly competing to be the best. You close your eyes for a second and suddenly you're alone at the bottom of this mad chain. Oh and I took a part of LOGKA2013 comitee!
--

at the end of 2012 I was a girl who doesn't really know where she's going, living life as how it's given.
--

This year was closed with UAS hahah, such a fun way to end the year of suprises ;)
----------------

Thank You 2012

For the experience you gave

For those smiles and laughters

For those tears and killed dreams

For the lessons

For everything

 -----------------
Let's wish for a GREATER2013! 

November Rain

Hello Blogie!

there is no better time to write on blog other than 4am-haven't-slept-just-finished-korean-drama-while-drinking-coffee-eating-kerupuk-in-big-sweater-and-socks. Right? ...

Okay, I'm not even sure I'm fully conscious right now, but please just bear with it.

Alright, I hadn't been able to write here earlier I had been really busy and somehow I kept postponing to update you. However here I am, ready to fill you with new stories.
Ah November, so many stories I'd like to share, but I'm not a wordsmith, no matter how much I try to form the sentences in my head, I always fail in telling stories..


November Rain
November Rain 
November Rain
I can't possibly be the only one who read/heard it a lot these days. Twitter, bbm, everywhere people saying 'November Rain' every time it rains. and it rained everyday. I looked up in google and found that it's a title of a song from Gun N' Roses. However, I don't think those friends of mine who update their status with 'November Rain' actually listen to that song. well... yaudahlahyah



November Rain
November Rain
November Rain
Yes. It rains A LOT this November. The weather has been lovely. It's relatively cold even in the afternoon, and I'm practically freezing by night. Thank you so much for all the rain ya Allah. Although sometimes I got trouble from the all the rain, they really make me happy. Rain makes me happy, the cold weather puts me in the best mood. I guess this is actually the first time I like Depok. The city that burns has gotten so nice.
Every time I got out of the building, I would always say "Such a nice weather! I'm so happy!" ...ask Dity and Zan if you don't believe me. I'm not exaggerating anything, I really am happy. I could even wear sweaters!

Last week we all had a long weekend, from Thurday to Sunday! such a great holiday. I didn't go anywhere significant, and I literally spent those days on my bed with my laptop watching dramas and just being a lazybum. And since it was Ibeb's birthday, we had a big family dinner. We ate at Shabu Slim, an all-you-can-eat restaurant which have shabu and sushi as their main course. It sounds interesting right? too bad they only gave 1 and a half hours too eat.
Anyway it seemed like my parents had a fight on that weekend, home was great, but it wasn't exactly warm.But on good note, my brother reported that they started talking again by the time I got back to Depok. I wonder why...

I had a physic quiz on Friday, therefore me and dity were "studying" at Thursday night. and  suddenly at 10.30 pm, Dity's mom came and brought sushi tei. Honestly, never in my wildest dream I dreamed of studying physic while eating sushi. haha. Thank you mamahnya dity!

Oh and on that Friday, Lintang had her 19th Birthday! Happy Birthday Lintang! wishing you all the happiness!

By the way, I joined a Tim Sukses! the number one! #1inklusif1nspiratf Kak Muji!
another out off character things for me to do, but I guess I just want some experience and I believe he'll do good to his people.

I know I've told you too much, but there's another big thing this week
iCarly ends!! it finally ends!
It was sad, seeing people in fandom come back to see and fangirl iCarly for the very last time
But... it was even more pathetic when Carly kissed Freddie, I mean like whaaaaaaaaaat?
LOL

That's all my stories I know you may think this post is pointless, but that's just how I write..
At the end I just want to say, these few weeks have been great.
November Rain
November Rain
November Rain
November Rain 


please be a December Rain too :) 

end of october, start of november

Bonjour!

How's my week?

Well,
The good news is, The Midterm test is finally over!
The bad news is, it was horrible, it's painful to remember about it

Many things happened this week, 31st of October, Ova's birthday and also the day when she and radit finally officially together! 3rd of November, I attended FORSIL which was seriously fun, I did something super out-off-character, I danced SNSD songs in front of all those people. yep. me. dancing. Those words should never be put in one sentence.  Someone recorded it, but I don't even want to know haha
A quality weekend with my older brother, we had Holycow! damn it, that steak was really good that it made my head hurts. literally. 

I guess I don't have much to tell you, that's all about my life this week, honestly.

October ended pretty well, many things happened that month, I'm wishing the next October to be even better.
And Hello November! I know it sounds cliche, but please be nice :)

Oct

Hello!
Hey!
Hi!

This week had been chaotic.
Last weekend I spent my days off being sick on the bed. It was really bad, I constantly felt nausea especially when I saw foods. I even skipped my class on Monday. By 12:30 am of Tuesday I was still crying from my sickness. Twelve hours from that, I had my Statistic UTS. How was it? It was awful. it was terrible. it was a nightmare. And then the day after that dreadful uts I had my Physic uts. oh it was lovely. lovely to be forgotten. What can I say it was probably as bad as the statistic. I feel really bad though. I feel really bad for Mrs. Ida, I hate knowing that my score will be a disappointment. And then I also had Teobil quiz! it was fun! *please notice the sarcasm* And Thrusday I had mpktb uts! I won't even tell you how it went. 
I would never say I like this week, but hey! I got through this week alive therefore I should be thankful. yep

On the good side, I went home on Thursday! we had the lebaran haji in Friday, as always my big family gathered in my house, it was started in the morning and somehow it got dragged until night. At first we only ate laksa and ketupat, somehow we ended up making roasted fish, and mpek-mpek. Oh not to forget that it was my Dad 53rd Birthday! Happy Birthday Dad! I love you soooooooo much <3
On Saturday we threw a dinner party with my dad's family. well it wasn not exactly a party. just a bunch of people gathered together, chatting, eating and singing kareoke. Nevertheless, it was fun. Meeting the big family has always been fun.

And here I am, 1 am still writing this post. I should start studying but somehow I feel obligated to write it, just to update this blog. Otherwise I would have no other time to do it. 

I am currently typing it in my room. not my kostan room. My own room. with my old speakers. and a cup of hot coffee. It reminds me  with those good old nights~

I miss this kind of moment. I really do. 
    

Holiday (?)

it's holiday! time for me to rest, have a good amount of sleep, and just lazy-ing around all day. hooray!
except not.

This year, Mbak Lia decided to go home to her hometown. I know that it's her rights and I wish for her safety, and may she has a good time there. But I just can't wait for her to come back again
Let's just say if washing dishes burns calories, I'll be a model after this holiday. Tons of dishes and clothes to wash I don't even know where to start. And sleeping? meh. Like usual I would go to sleep by three/four in the morning. The thing is, my mother would yell if I sleep 'till noon like I usually did. So my time to sleep has been cut off by those dirty clothes and dishes. To help my self, I even use Styrofoam plates, but that doesn't seem to help much either. 

on the other hand, my heart and my brain are not exactly in a good relationship. I want to be logical, and I know, my brain knows which one is the right thing to do, which one is wrong. But it's not that easy!
I should have known it from the start. meh. meh. meh.

Ramadan & Kost-Kost-an

Hello! it's Ramadan month already! Alhamdulilah

I really love this month, it's just the last weeks I had been too sucked into these whole university thing that I forget to celebrate and being in the euphoria of Ramadan's coming. And now it's here already.

Ramadan has always been lovely, you see suddenly the air feel cooler and the people seem nicer. Well, maybe that's just me. ha ha

Actually, I don't really have anything to tell you it's just I feel bad if I just abandon you because nothing interesting enough happened in my life. My days have been boring. yes. boring. I slept all day and stared into the monitor all night. That's just how it has been..

By the way, I choose UI. Yes, The Yellow jackets are brighter than the blue ones. Now and then I keep thinking how the hell did I get my self into Math?! If you told me a year ago that I'd be in Mathematic department of UI I wouldn't believe it. But here I am, counting on the days when I'll start studying math for the rest of 4 years. No, I don't hate math. It's just I had not exactly been 'good' at math. When I was in tenth or eleventh grade I used to be really 'blank' at math. 12th grade, I got better but still not good enough, and after UN I had these crazy date till morning with math. and here I am, a student of Math. Just, wish me luck.

Yesterday, I looked for a place to stay, 'kost'. When I got accepted in UNPAD, I looked for kost and I got a really nice one, the house was a very nice old house, a pretty motherly old lady stays there, the room was big, and in front of my room there's a big fish pond. It was cool and feel really homey.

But Well I have to let go of that place because I move to Depok. Aaaand it turns out the Kost-kost an in Depok are way below the kost-kost an in Bandung! The environment is more crowded it's like I live in perum again. Well I got one, it's a new modern home. The room was big, it got AC, and bathroom with shower inside. Buuuuut it's really really really far from UI. It's not far if I use motorcycle, but no I'm gonna be walking. And the environment are not exactly crowded, its just full of citizen's houses. It would be hard for me if I suddenly need to eat, or you know go to indomart, or something. It would be hard if I suddenly need to print something, or if I run out of pen. Because it's far from everything.

Then, I looked for another one, and I got one really close with UI, and close with indomart and so on. But the house was not exactly good. it has bathroom inside but it doesn have AC.

I don't want to sound like a spoiled brat, but if only you hadn't noticed,  
I love coldness and I don't function in hot temperature. I love wearing thick sweaters, cardigan, and jackets. 

In Bandung I don't need AC because usually it's cold enough, but in Depok? I don't think so.

I may sound exaggerating but I'm not. Anyone who knows me well enough would know that me and hot temperature never go along well.

I want to look for more options but the other good places are taken :/

The thought of it has been clouding up my mind for the last two days

That's the update!

3 bizzare minutes

So basically today I had-  run like my life was depended on it- while half crying- shouting and screaming for help- with shoes threatening to fall off anytime soon- and after that I laughed almost hysterically until I realize I was on a busy street and people were staring. and those happened in less than 4 minutes.

oh you won't have any idea what just happened.

and I also learned that strangers are not as nice as I thought they were.

UN IS OVER PEOPLE! IT'S OVER!

"UN IS OVER PEOPLE! IT'S OVER!"

YES, UN (The National Exam) is over. And at some point of these last two days I feel like screaming it down to people's ear. Am I relieved? yes. Am I happy? yes. Am I free? Uh huh no, not really -wait the answer is an absolute NO. Because once this exam done, I must face the SNMPTN. and it's not fun.

Well, back to UN IS OVER.
A big part of me is actually asking, "Is this it?" it's not that I want more of this, it's just I feel like, "is it really over already?" I mean you see those tv dramas, movies, or novels show how graduating from highschool is like the biggest moment in life, they show how crazy and dramatic it is. But me? I feel like 'meh'.
it's not that I don't take it seriously, and it's not that I don't consider it as something special. It is very special indeed, it's just not as big as  thought it would be. Maybe, I just had been expecting too much. 
Okay, what am I saying? it's not like they have announced the graduation yet, that's why please pray for me!

I really have nothing to do tonight, a little part of me keeps screaming "why on earth aren't you studying?" that sounds like a relevant question.  But the bigger part insist that I shall not study tonight. Not when it's just two nights after UN, I deserve some rest, don't I?

What do I do to relieve the stress and 'rest'? Well yesterday right after UN done, I, Dian, and Uli went to Lippo to hunt down Korean DVD (or should I say accompanying Dian hunting down Korean DVD while adding one or two to Dian's list?) Nevertheless it was really fun. And today My brother and I had Sushi Tei! Finally! it's been such a long time. And maybe I'm gonna drown my self in the ocean of tv shows, korean dramas, and novels...

By the way have a good weekend people!

I feel really terrible today. Everything seems wrong. I don't really know why. Suddenly I become very fussy, every single thing that's out of place makes me crumble, I cried twice without any significant reason.

Encounter with a Stranger

Today, I went to the mall with Riza, Ami, Icis and Nawang. Riza treated us Pizza Hut for her birthday.

My mother was supposed to pick me up to go to Depo Bangunan. I really like going to that store, you know I'm very interested in 'building home' thingies. But, somehow Indosat (My cell phone service provider) decided that it was the best time to mess up the network. And in the end I failed to communicate with my mom, I went to the lobby waiting for her but then a bbm appeared saying that and she already left with my brother. I didn't know what had gotten into me, I was really sad,  and I broke down crying. Some people were staring at me, wondering what had happened to that girl sitting alone, crying in front of the lobby of a very busy mall. I'm pretty sure people would think that I must had been dumped by my boyfriend. it's not like I have one anyway.

 There were two bench. both were empty. I sat on one and then a man sat on another. He looked around and suddenly he asked me "Miss, is it a nonsmoking area?" I didn't cry out loud, but I'm sure he could see I was crying and yet asked me such question. So I just gave him a simple "I don't know", my tone was really rude. He was just silent. Feeling guilty, I finally told him "no it's not". He seemed to be a little taken aback by my sudden answer. He said "I didn't notice you were crying, sorry".  I only nodded. He stared at me and suddenly said "Don't cry in public place". I was really taken aback. Fortunately no one was there, otherwise it would be really embarrassing. There was a silence for few minutes, and suddenly he handed me a tissue. "Here, I have a tissue". I took it without saying anything. Few minutes later I left that bench and went in to the mall. Wanting to be polite, I gave him a very simple goodbye which he answered with a smile.

I really felt like I was in some kind of Movie, or a romantic Novel. That man wasn't really old, judging by the look he looked like around 20. He wore a simple shirt and jeans. He wasn't handsome, but he wasn't bad looking either. That moment would had been really romantic if it had stopped right there. But no...

I went straight to the Book Store, Whenever I didn't have direction to go I would always go to bookstore. I could spend hours inside without buying anything. Well, I was reading a book about 'how to draw using pencil'. When I was looking through the pages, suddenly I heard someone said "Hey", I looked up and I found that man standing beside me. I was kinda surprised. And he said "We didn't get to introduce, My name is ----, You?", I lost my interest right at that moment. I know where this was going. At one side I felt flattered, but you know me, I'm not a very sociable person, I'm not good at talking with people I'm not close with. I'm certainly not a big fan of being acquaintance with a random stranger. But again, out of politeness, I told him my name. "Nadya", The conversation went a little like this

The Man: is it alright if I talk with you? I'm not a bad person

Me : yes 

The Man: So, Are you still highschool or college?

Me: Highschool *hoping that it would make the man go away*

The Man: Where's your school?

Me: Somewhere around here... 

The Man : What are you reading?

Me : *showing him the cover of the book without saying anything* *continue reading*

The Man: Do you like drawing?

Me: Yes

The Man: can you draw?

Me: No

The Man: You know, you should collect all your drawing and bind them. You can sell it.

Me : *just nodded*

The Man: Or you can make a book like this one *pointing at the book I read*

Me: I'm not that good

The Man: But the drawing like these seem simple to do *the page I read was showing simple drawing*

Me: *just smiled*

The Man: You know, I also do designing but not on paper, on the computer

Me: I see

The Man: But I work in polymer making *or something like that, I couldn't remember*

Me: Oh..

There was silence for a while, and I took the chance to leave. "I'm sorry, I need to go" I said while putting the book. Not wanting to be rude I smiled. He said "Alright" But then he said "Can I have your number please?". I smiled and I said "I'm sorry but No". he was taken aback for a while and finally said "Oh Okay".

 

Well the sweet moment turned cheesy.

I barely looked at his face when he was talking, I really didn't want to be rude but I was not interested at all.

who knows

If months ago you had told me that I'd be a able to rap a Nicki Minaj's song, and become a big fan of Korean stars, I'm pretty sure that I would laugh at your face.
I don't know how it started, it just happened. I guess we would never know what Life will gives to us. it's so random and out of my comfort zone. but I enjoy it, it's like discovering something new and it changes the way you see something. No, I don't change. I just add up new things in my library.

Quality Time..

Quality time with my self

I know I don’t usually write a lot in here, it’s not important though, so you may want to scroll past this..
My room isn’t big, it’s only 3x4 meters, but for me it’s one huge wonderland. It has Christmas lights hung around the ceiling and also a set of unused speakers.
So I turned off the main lamp, turned on the Christmas light, put ‘The Trees and The Wild’ on repeat and connect it to my awesome speakers, and most importantly a cup of coffee. Too bad I don’t have a great cup of coffee tonight. I’m trying this ‘Creamy Cappuccino’ and it tastes like milk. bleeh :/
Let’s just say I’m savoring every moment of it, The guitar strums from the marvelous ‘the trees and the wild’ , the lights, the warmth of the ‘coffee’. None of my friends really understand why I love it so much, but I guess everyone has their own moment right?
——-
Times like this get me thinking (even a lot more than I usually do). Many things crossed my mind, mostly about human though. Weird topic, and I don’t feel like typing it down in tumblr.
Many people find me to be really talkative, but really sometimes I feel like I’m a big introvert. I spend more times alone than hanging out with friends, and I don’t mind a single bit. Sometimes I wonder, am I a loner? no. I actually really love people’s company, and it’s nice to have friends to talk to. But there are times (a lot of them) when I’d rather be alone. Not because I was down, sad or disappointed. I just plainly want to be alone, to have times for my own. Maybe it has something to do with how I grew up. No, I didn’t grow up alone and sad. I have a big brother, a (thanks god) loving family, a bunch of friends that made my childhood fantastic. But yeah, around the times when I was 13 my brother left for college, both of my parents were workaholic, childhood friends went their own way. Years of going home to find empty house (well I had a great maid though, but it’s different) must have something to do with it.
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There are countless times I refused to hang out just to have time like this
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Sometimes I went to the mall alone, wandering through the crowd and looking for my own peace.
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ra-ra-rambling

Hello again :D
So it's Monday, and I already miss Sunday like so damn much! School is kinda killing me with those tests and the fact that I have to get good grades. I told you that I'll have some improvement. Well I guess I'm trying. but it's getting harder, it feels like everything I do will never be enough. I should never have taken anything for granted. Right?

I really am tired. I barely have time for my self! Now every time I go home from school, it's whether I have to go to the tutoring or work out. None of them is fun. But once again, Sometimes we have to push our self to its limit. and there are some things that need to be done. do whatever it takes \m/

I'm just a normal girl, I envy those who look good with no effort, I envy those who have passion for studying. I get jealous to those who have a lover on their side. Because unlike them, I have to work pretty hard to get what they already have. But I believe that the difficulty will only thicken my skin