Di Beranda

....

Dan jika suatu saat 
Buah hatiku, buah hatimu 
Untuk sementara waktu pergi
 Usahlah kau pertanyakan 

ke mana kakinya kan melangkah
 Kita berdua tahu, dia pasti

Pulang ke rumah

....

Diatas merupakan petikan lirik dari lagu "Di Beranda" oleh sekelompok musisi yang sedang mendominasi playlist gua sehari-hari, Banda Neira. Lagu ini menceritakan mengenai dialog seorang ayah dan ibu tentang anaknya yang sedang merantau. Mungkin terkesan aneh kalau gua memetik lagu ini, gua bukan seorang ibu, dan jelas sekali belum punya anak. Namun setelah membaca blog mereka lebih lanjut, ternyata kata-kata di lirik ini sebenarnya kata-kata yang ingin disampaikan sang penulis untuk ibunya yang disamarkan dalam bentuk dialog ayah-ibu. Ya, seakan-akan ayah nya lah berkata seperti itu pada ibunya, padahal sebenarnya ini adalah curahan hati anak untuk ibunya. Bait diatas merupakan bait favorit gua, Entah kenapa, bait ini memiliki daya tarik yang sangat tinggi, Bagi gua bait ini memiliki optimisme, keyakinan seorang anak, kepercayaan sang orang tua, dan kehangatan sebuah rumah.

'Such a beautiful lyric', itu pikiran pertama gua setelah mendengar lagu ini, namun kedua kali mendengar lagu ini, tiba-tiba sesuatu mengganggu pikiran gua. Apakah gua sudah dapat mengatakan hal tersebut kepada kedua orang tua gua? Ya gua memang merantau di kota orang, namun jarak nya dapat ditempuh dalam 4 jam perjalanan, bahkan gua pun selalu pulang ke rumah setidaknya 2 minggu sekali. Apakah gua sudah pantas mengatakan hal tersebut disaat jarak kurang lebih 200 km merupakan satu-satunya penghalang gua dengan rumah? Bukannya gua ingin jauh-jauh dari rumah, apalagi dari orang tua, God knows I can't stay in Bandung more than 2 weeks without seeing them, maksud gua adalah bahwa gua belum berjalan cukup jauh, tempat gua berada sekarang terasa terlalu normal, hampir terlalu aman malah, maka dari itu gua masih harus berjalan jauh untuk melihat dunia lebih luas lagi

Lagu ini mengingatkan gua akan satu mimpi yang hampir gua lupakan; Keliling Dunia! tahun lalu bahkan gua melukis sebuah peta dunia besar di dinding kamar gua, tujuannya selain untuk memperindah kamar adalah untuk mengingatkan gua bahwa dunia bukan hanya kamar gua, namun ada dunia luar, dan saat melukis itu gua berjanji bahwa suatu hari gua akan melihat peta dunia tersebut dengan bangga karena gua sudah mengunjungi tempat-tempat di peta tersebut. Amin. Rasanya ingin segera lulus dan mencari beasiswa ke luar negeri, ke negara entah berantah disana. Ingin segera menapakan kaki di negara yang tak dikenal, ingin belajar sesuatu yang baru, ingin melakukan hal besar, ingin segera berpetualang dan berjalan jauh, jauh, jauh. Terdengar sangat mengandai-andai memang, semester satu saja belum selesai tapi soksokan sekali sudah bicara tentang pendidikan selanjutnya. Ya namanya juga sedang bersemangat.....

Mungkin nanti, pada saat itu gua bisa mengatakan bait terebut kepada orang tua gua, di saat gua sudah melangkah jauh, menentukan pilihan hidup sendiri, dan menemukan petualangan baru. 

Semoga nanti, suatu saat, gua bisa membanggakan orang tua gua, dan membalas semua kepercayaan serta doa-doa dari mereka.

Amin

Dan apabila mungkin ada yang penasaran, ini lagunya :) 

Demi Ganesha, Kota Bunga, Baju Hangat, dan Geneva

These weeks I've been really busy. I had never been this busy before. like literally. I'm tired most of the times. Sometimes I just want to throw my body on the bed and sleep. It has been crazy and mostly tiring.

...But I have never wanted anything this bad.  not even New York. I don't know a lot of things, but I am REALLY SURE of one thing. I want to be a part of ITB.

and Allah please please please grant my wish....

Where do you see your self in 10 years?

"Where do you see your self in 10 years?"

Ten years from now, that means that I'd be about 27 going on 28.

I wish, I'll have finished my master degree from a good university in foreign country. I will have traveled around the world, I will have tasted the experience of being a backpacker in foreign countries. I will have married with a loving husband. -and possibly living in a small but very comfortable home while saving up money to build a bigger one, my dream home. maybe planning for kids. I will be working in a big company with a good position while earning experience to go further. I will do great and big things.

---------

That's a lot. I know. Some people will probably hit me in the head and say 'Don't dream too much!' I know that not everything goes with the plan. My mother once told me when she was young she had a dream to travel the world. But as she got older more important things came, she needed to be realistic and put aside her dream. I guess that's just how the world is. But  don't want to give up on my dream. It's not  a  dream, it's a plan. I may sound arrogant but I want it so bad, I need to make sure that I will still remember it when those obstacles come. That my wills will be bigger than the problems I have ahead.
Still, I realize at the end of the day everything is decided by Allah SWT, but there's no harm in trying rite?
May all my dreams come true. Amin.

Here we go NYC!

First of all, I'm sorry for my very rare update. it's almost a month huh? well so many things had happened in a moth....
Well, btw remember when I told you that my mother is going to present her poster/abstract in Global Health Conference which will be held in Washington? Remember when I told you about how unsure I was about getting my visa?
Today.... I just got back from U.S. Embassy! That was such a very thrilling experience! I felt like there was a huge monster doing gymnastic in my stomach. I was nervous that I believed I could faint at any minute..
But it was paid back when the counselor said "okay, your visa has been approved" If I didn't know better I might had literally did a happy dance.

So, it's 90% now. We've got the ticket booked. Now I can only pray to Allah SWT. Hopefully my trip to US will go without any hindrance :)

Dream I :New York

Hello my underrated virtual diary! Miss me much? haha

I finally succeed encouraging my self to write in here. I just didn't have enough time. You know tumblr? that's the one that had been stealing my time for you, you should blamed him, not me. :D

Well, there was a reason why I titled this post as 'dreams'

I know that you know most of my dreams, such as getting into institute technology of Bandung, and taking the postgraduate program in NYU. but in you know, as much as I love getting the scholarship for NYU, actually all I want is visiting NEW YORK. I want to spend a night watching the chaos of crowd walking  Square, eating those big pizzas, and just being a New Yorker. yes, I am obsessed with this city.

And, here is the big news *drumrolls*

There's this 60% chance that I may be going to US this Juny! YAY!

so my mother entered her abstract to the Global Health Conference that is going to be held in Washington D.C, and the last few weeks we all had been very pessimistic, we had been thinking that maybe the abstract wasn't accepted and qualified to be presented. But yesterday night my mom got an email which stated that her abstract was accepted, and is expected to be presented in the conference! So my mom is going to ask the approval from her Organization which hopefully will pay the cost of transport and accommodation when we're in Washington. and if that succeed, it will be 70%. But then there's something really important. Getting a Visa!  you know it's really hard to get a visa of US, I will be interviewed and asked many questions all in English. There's a chance that I may not going to get one. But I believe that I will. I have to. If I get the visa, it will be 90%. And the rest 10% is up to Allah SWT.

I really wish that the timing won't bother my school life, because if  can't go because my school won't let me. I'll be really mad.

I still can't believe it's happening. pray for me please :D

Ok, back to the title, 'Dream'

I'm pretty sure that you've heard so many people saying that dreams do come true when you have the wills. I know it sounds really cheesy, but it's true! You know I really really do want to go to NY. I keep telling everyone that one day I'll be in New York. Most of my friends are bored hearing me rambling about NY and how I'll be living there. Somehow, in someway my wills got me keep reminding, encouraging, and supporting my mother in making her abstract. and BAM! it's happening!

Well, my daddy always say that if you really want it, Allah SWT will bring it to you eventually.

So, keep dreaming  because dreams really do come true :)

 And really I want to thank Allah SWT for EVERYTHING, and my mother for being incredibly awesome, and my dad for being so supportive with all of my dreams, and basically I just want to thank everyone :)

ra-ra-rambling

Hello again :D
So it's Monday, and I already miss Sunday like so damn much! School is kinda killing me with those tests and the fact that I have to get good grades. I told you that I'll have some improvement. Well I guess I'm trying. but it's getting harder, it feels like everything I do will never be enough. I should never have taken anything for granted. Right?

I really am tired. I barely have time for my self! Now every time I go home from school, it's whether I have to go to the tutoring or work out. None of them is fun. But once again, Sometimes we have to push our self to its limit. and there are some things that need to be done. do whatever it takes \m/

I'm just a normal girl, I envy those who look good with no effort, I envy those who have passion for studying. I get jealous to those who have a lover on their side. Because unlike them, I have to work pretty hard to get what they already have. But I believe that the difficulty will only thicken my skin

The time of change: WAKING UP

Have you ever re-considered everything in your life? Have you ever regretted wasting time? because that's exactly what I'm mourning about right now. I feel like I had been sleeping way too much, not literary it's just a phase. Looking back to my past, I asked my self, "what have you accomplished?"and the answer was shamefully nothing. All these 16 freaking years and I feel like there's nothing to be proud about. I keep telling people (and my self) to keep on dreaming. but I might had forgotten about one specific quote that I do love so much.
I forget the exact word but it went on something like this: 

"The first thing you have to do to achieve your dream is WAKE UP"

yes, WAKE UP. As a girl who has accomplished almost nothing in her life my targets are really high : 

1. Accepted in Institute Technology Bandung
2. Get a scholarship to take the postgraduate education in New York University

ITB

For now, those two are my biggest target, especially the first one. When I told my friends about it, 98% of them just laughed, thinking that I was joking but hell no! I sure am not the most diligent person in the planet, or even in my class, but sometimes you just have to push your self off the limit. I think it's kinda weird and funny at the same time. One day, my best friend Mayang asked me, "Nadya, you have no passion to go to school every day, and you're not diligent, and you hate the assignments. Why do you want to go to an university that absolutely will make you spend your years studying?"  The answer is, I know that I'm lazy. but I'm young, I really want to make my time the most of it. I don't want to spend it easily. Yes now you may think that I'm really weird. One thing about me is, I never see my self as someone who can't. I always see my self as an underachiever. I always feel like 'actually I can do it, I just need to make some attempts and definitely more efforts.' and yes I'm over confident and it's not healthy. But it's one thing that can keep me keep on believing that I can achieve my dreams. 

Time of change: WAKING UP.

As from now on, I won't think 'actually I can do it, I just need to make some attempts and definitely more efforts.' anymore because From now, I'm gonna change. I'm gonna make those attempts and I'm absolutely going to give much more efforts. I'm gonna push my self much harder. It's gonna be rough, but there are somethings in life that need to be done.