within the sound of silence...

I seriously want to start this year with happy blogpost, I want it to be started with something positive, something good. But,  nothing's been good to me.

It's holiday, I had waited for too long to let it be a waste. But, in this holiday I've become a mess. I really lose it. Bad, scary, negative thoughts come back rushing to me, consuming me worse then ever. I feel like giving up, I don't even know what I'm fighting for. I'm just tired. I need a rest from all of these thoughts, I want to take my brains off and stop thinking for a while, just be stupid and inconsiderate.

Suddenly I understand the song "The Sound of Silence" from Simon&Garfunkle